bun-maska-chai and a smoke

Talking about Irani restaurants, I am really really glad that some good ones still exist. Bastani's honourable neighbour, Kyani & Co still stands proudly at the corner of Metro cinema. And yes those ropes still hang from the ceiling at the entrance to help you climb in!

I have to regrettably report that Kyani management has chosen to follow the smoking ban imposed by Ambumani Ramadoss (yes the same guy who had serious objections to Shahrukh Khan's smoking on and off screen), but most of what you got there -- crispy khari biscuits, the watery pani-kum chai, the bun-maska, and other bakery products -- is still served sincerely.

A few yards away, Sasanian Boulangerie located near Gol Masjid is still functional, and serves a mean kheema-pav. I often visit the New Excelsior Cafe opposite Excelsior Cinema which has survived over the years, and offers all the Iranian delights. They have recently added Lebanese food to the menu. Chicken Salli is a curious dish in their menu. A chicken patty soaked in a lipsmacking sauce, with fried potato crispies sprinkled on top with pav.

 Also intact is Cafe Olympia near Churchgate railway station. It never had any particular decor, but still serves the popular kheema-pav it is known for. Cafe Military, tucked away in the tiny lane that links Fountain to Bombay Stock Exchange, is there too. You have to wait for a table during the lunch hour when the office crowd throngs the place.

 Koolar & Co at King's Circle still retains its charm. A framed photo of New York Times front page announcing the sinking of the Titanic hangs above the counter. Though the watery, milk tea came to be identified with Iranian restaurants, Koolar offers the authentic Iranian tea which is without milk, and is kept separately at the counter. Do try that one if you go. Irani restaurants symbolise unhurried time for me, and I can sit there for hours just gazing at the world outside go by. I really miss them in Thane where I live.

If you know of some interesting Irani restaurants I should visit, do drop me a line.

An ode to Irani restaurants

No talking to cashier
No smoking
No fighting
No credit
No outside food
No sitting long
No talking loud
No spitting
No bargaining
No water to outsiders
No change
No telephone
No match sticks
No discussing gambling
No newspaper
No combing
No beef
No leg on chair
No hard liquor allowed
No address enquiry
— By order.

This was a notice board hung at the entrance of Bastani & Co, one of Mumbai's Irani restaurants which closed down some time ago. I regret that I couldn't go there for one last bun-muska-chai-smoke before it downed shutters. Located diagonally opposite Metro Cinema (now Big Cinemas after Reliance bought it), Bastani served some lovely bun-maskas, mawa cakes, rum cakes, biscuits, scrambled eggs on toast, and had a delightful owner with whom I had the pleasure of a long chat. Bastani also had a mezzanine floor which used to serve draught beer some 15 years ago before airconditioned bars hit Mumbai like an awful storm. Though the floor was nothing more than a storage space to dump furniture and other stuff, from the looks of it, it appeared as if the mezzanine floor must have been a rocking place once upon a time. Perhaps in the golden days of Fities and Sixties when Mumbai still had that genteel charm about it.



Losing Bastani broke my heart. It was the fourth Irani restaurant to close down or change. One near my college in Matunga suddenly embraced uber-coolness one fine day, and started selling combo meals of burger, and cola, and softie icecreams. The decor and the patrons frequenting the place changed overnight. Another one right outside the Dadar East railway station, which had a lovely mezzanine too, sold out to an Udipi and transformed into an idli-wada sambar place. Cafe New Empire opposite CST sold out to McDonalds in late 1990s. After these catastrophes, I made it a point to frequent Bastani whenever I could. But, when bastani downed shutters, I wasn't around. I had the oppostunity to write a piece about it. You can read it here http://www.telegraphindia.com/1040815/asp/look/story_3611577.asp
The piece ends with Nissim Ezekiel's tribute to Irani restaurants:

Please
Do not spit
Do not sit more
Pay promptly, time is invaluable
Do not write letter
Without order refreshment
Do not comb
Hair is spoiling floor
Do not make mischiefs in cabin
Our waiter is reporting
Come again
All are welcome whatever caste
If not satisfied tell us
Otherwise tell others
GOD IS GREAT!